Alone Time For Moms in Cincinnati
I recently spent time with a childhood friend and we held a conversation about alone time for moms that I think will resonate with many people.
My friend is a daughter, a wife, a mom of 5 kids aged 18 and younger, works full-time, and assists her husband in running his business. Her days and nights are usually directed by her kids’ activity schedules and her work commitments. She rises early and goes to bed late. To say she doesn’t have a lot of “alone time” is a drastic understatement. Yet she wasn’t complaining about any of this. She was simply telling me about her life.
She loves her kids and would do anything for them. She loves her husband and her parents. She likes her job. Admittedly there are days that are frustrating, but overall she likes it. She looks forward to watching her kids play sports, dance, and perform in the orchestra or in plays.
Does this sound familiar? Are you nodding your head?
Do you feel pulled in many directions? Do you have difficulty finding time to read a book, watch a TV show of your choosing, listen to the radio, or even go to the bathroom by yourself?
I looked at her and said “Don’t feel guilty about doing something for yourself.”
She looked at me and fell silent for about 20 seconds.
Then she smiled and hugged me. It was as if a light bulb turned on for her.
All she needed was for a friend to validate her feelings and affirm that it is okay to do something for herself.
Let’s think through this. If you aren’t happy with your life, if you aren’t happy with your body, if you aren’t happy with your health, then how can you realistically be the mom, the wife, or the daughter that you want to be? How can you support your family when they need you? How can you successfully juggle all of your commitments?
The answer is simple. You can’t. You will fail at least one of these, if not more. Then you’ll feel worse, and an ugly, vicious cycle begins to form.
This is why as a personal trainer, I push you to commit to classes or training sessions. It’s too easy to put someone else first or something else first. After you do this once, it gets easier to do it again and again and again. Before you know it, you’ve lost some of your individuality and a part of yourself. Alone time for moms isn’t a dirty word. Don’t feel guilty about wanting some for yourself. If you know that you will need accountability, start with a personal trainer for the individual attention.
How do you stop this cycle? For some, it is treating exercise as part of your job. Schedule classes like meetings and put them in your calendar. Set a reminder in your phone or on your computer. Plan for it, just like a meeting. Pack your clothes and shoes ahead of time and place them in your car. Don’t forget socks and a sports bra. Always carry a protein bar or have protein powder in the bag. Do the same with your recovery drink. Failing to plan is planning to fail.
Spending an hour a day on yourself is not selfish. Some call it therapy, some call it “me” time, and others half-jokingly refer to it as giving their kids an hour break from their mom. However you define it, know that it will help re-energize you to be the best you can when you are with the people you love the most.